International Relations Part Why Me?

Me being successful as a Fulbright scholar:
So, I am completely ill. SO sick, and no dayquil. I want to die. The other day I slept for six hours in the middle of the day (totally erasing my "Jet lag is SO last season"), and my host mom/landlord came home and asked if I needed doctor. When I said no, she said, "then you eat." Then I said... um... Jenna sick. no eat. And she said "no eat doctor. no doctor eat." Then she made me eat buerek, which is bready oily fetaey parsleyey pastry stuff.

Burek Recipe: 1 pan phyllo dough, 6 oz crumbled feta, 4 oz creamed cheese, 1 beaten egg, 2 T fresh parsley, 1 T fresh dill, 1/2 cup better, 1 cup olive or grape oil. Eat repeatedly. Retreat to bathroom.

I thought I was going to puke all night. Then we had it for breakfast. And again for lunch. Also, at dinner she told me that both "um" and "sick" are "no say" in Turkish.

I looked them up, and "um" is an expletive for the female genitalia, and "sick" is the same, but for males. Thanks, Redhouse dictionary, for the specific translations.

So to recap:
Kind Turkish host mother: "You bad? You hasta [which I now know means ill]?"
Jenna: "&$#%& Jenna &%&&$@#"

Dear Fulbright,
Thanks again for the investment in my visit here to improve American-Turkish relations. About that, you're welcome.
love, Jenna